There is no food. I am suffering. They only give us a little bit of sorghum. How can I be happy? I think a lot about my country. I don’t think I’m sick, but I think a lot about what happened. The sadness has entered into my heart.
Sometimes, I go to look for wood. But if I see anyone on the way, I go back to the camp. They yell at me, “Leave the wood.” There’s only me on my ration card, so I don’t get enough wood.
I live here with my husband and grandchildren and daughter-in-law, the wife of my son who was killed.
There is no food. The NGOs are giving us things, but not enough food.
If there’s peace and security in Darfur, I will go back. But not now – it’s still not safe. I’m not free now.
Tell people about how much we suffered in Darfur when we were attacked. They took our property, killed many people, and took our land.
Sometimes in the night, I think about what happened and start to cry.
I woke up, prayed, and at 6:00 a.m., my husband milked the cows. He brought the milk to me to heat up. At 8:00 or 9:00 a.m., I prepared breakfast (kisera). Then I went to the farm during the rainy season. I returned and prepared dinner. I washed clothes. In the evening, I milked the cows. My husband helped me bring water and wood.
We had everything at home in Darfur, everything we needed. We had enough food. We grew millet, ground nuts, okra, tomatoes, beans, and melons. I had thirty goats, fifty sheep, three donkeys, one camel, one horse, and chickens. We used the camel to turn the machine to make oil. We brought things to the market to sell and kept some to eat ourselves.
When I was younger, I went to school for three years. After that, I went to work at the farm. We grew millet, peanuts, and onions. We had fifteen cows, twenty goats, thirty rams, two camels, three horses, five donkeys, and many chickens. In the summer, we took the cattle and went to pasture. In the rainy season, we went to the farm.
Chadian soldiers come into our homes – they tried to rape women. One came into my house but didn’t hurt me. I screamed and he left. They went into my neighbor’s house.
There’s not enough food. Before 2004, they gave everyone millet and rice. Now, only sorghum; it isn’t good.
I was raped in the camp in 2007 by a man with a knife at night. I am very sad. I told this to the sheikha, but they didn’t find the man who did it. My new husband doesn’t know that this happened to me.